Mitchell Report, The Saint Louis Cardinals and the 14-0 New England Patrioits

After watching the Mitchell reports all day yesterday on ESPN, ESPN2, ESPN Classic and other various media outlets there are a few things that I have deciphered that have happened because of the 20 month investigation. 

 Roger Clemens. There have been whispers that 'Rog' had been 'Roiding up but who would have thought a 44 year old who was still owning people in his 40's? Maybe it was the HGH. Maybe it was the steroids? Maybe it was the fact that he was doing all of those ever since he was winning CY Young's with the Toronto Blue Jays. Either way the 'Roid Rocket was shooting up, striking out lot's of people and winning Cy Young's. It makes it even sweeter that he lost game seven of the 2004 NLCS to the Cardinals. It makes it even sweeter now that the machine, the ageless wonder, arguably the biggest douche in the universe is also the number one name in this investigation. For everyone who is a Clemens lover i say to you: Take pride in the fact that TONS of players were doing steroids during this era. Take pride that LOTS of people were using HGH to "come back from injury" AHEM (See Andy Pettitte.) But the fact of the matter is, is that the whole steroid era or should I say steroid ERA would be a small minuscule universe without you and Barry Lamar Bonds. Granted, you didn't lie to a federal grand jury about using the cream, but you are just as guilty for having some clubhouse dude shoot you in the ass with some deca-durabolin and testosterone. Douche bag. It only makes it sweeter for me seeing you go 6-6 this year. 

Notable douche-bags. 

Barry Lamar Bonds-everyone knew he was juicing. Everyone. If you didn't, you have been in jail, had you head up your girlfriends ass for 8 years or pretended to like him. (side note:BLB is probably the biggest cheater, the biggest liar and the biggest douche in sports.)

Jason and Jeremy Giambi-I lump these guys in the same category because they both suck. They both used steroids and all you have to do to see the proof is to look at an old Sports Illustrated cover of "The Giambino" around 2000 with his long hair, his A's shirt, his tats and the crazy look on his face. I would find it and prove it with a link but that's how much I don't give a shit. He juiced, he admitted to it. Fuck him.

Gay-re Sheffield-No one can swing like that without shoving a needle into his own ass. No one.

Chuck Knobloch-He's not as notable as he's a fag. I hate the Yankees. 

David Justice-I used to love Justice as a Brave even when I hated the Braves which has been always. Justice denied all allegations saying that he was a bad player when he was supposedly on the juice. It's okay Just, we don't care. Everyone was doing it. You're a lemming too. Word.

Miguel Tejada-Former A, former O, former steroid user. I wish he was a Cardinal. If you look at his numbers Tejada has played an average of 162 games in his career. Also, from 2000-04 he never had a season without 30+ home runs. He also had 203 hits and 150 RBI's in 2004. From 04-07 he never hit more than 30 home runs, he did have a good 2006 season hitting .330 with a hundred RBI's and then got hurt in 2007 playing only 133 games. Everyone is fallible and typing this I understand that this isn't the best example of steroid use, but he used them too. Just like some former Astro's. He's still way better than Izturis. 

Paul LoDuca-Not surprising here. 

Eric Gagne-No one saves like 100 games in a row without a little chemical help. I don't care who you are. Hey Boston, what do you think about the Brew-Crew giving him 10 mil for a YEAR. One word. DUMB.

Rafael Palmeiro-"I have never used steroids! Period!" Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight. Neither has Mark McGwire or Sammy Sosa.

Rick Ankiel-I want so desperately to give this guy a pass because he's a Cardinal. Yeah, I can't and this is why. I was at both games that Rick "the pitcher" Ankiel decided to throw it against the back stop thinking he could get people out. I was there. I watched him warm up throwing 90+ to the bullpen catcher flawlessly. THEN I WATCHED HIM THROW 6 PITCHES TO THE BACKSTOP AGAINST THE METS AND BREAK MY HEART. It doesn't surprise me you used some HGH. Hopefully you can continue to be a force in the Cardinals young lineup for years to come and not fizzle out in all your HGH'ed up glory.

Jose Canseco-I won't waste anyone's time. 

There are a few more that I would like to mention but I'm not going to for lack of exuberance. I just don't care if Brian Roberts or Larry Bigbie did the 'roids. I don't care. Just as long as Albert Pujols didn't. It's really all I care about. Speaking of the Cardinals.

What Mo is doing is noble. Getting rid of payroll and making the team younger and I applaud him for that. I want to know when he's going to make a big blockbuster though. When is he going to make this team better for 2009-10. I understand signing Johan Santana to a multi-year deal is out of the question but the only thing I ask of you, Mo, is to make a deal that makes the fans happy. There is a long tradition in Saint Louis of having big name players and coming close and sometimes winning a championship. I don't see a championship for at least 5 years. Probably more than 5 years. I understand that winning one in 2006 while you were assistant GM was awesome but Cardinals fans smell blood. They want more. They have a new stadium, they have an all-star game in 2009 and they want more. I'm not asking for A-Rod. I'm not asking for Santana, hell I'm not even asking for Dan Haren, but what I am asking for is a chance to compete. Compete for the NL Central. Beat the Cubs and Brewers and Reds and Astros and Pirates. Get into the playoffs. Because if our last championship can attest to anything, it's that as long as you get into the playoffs anything can happen. Jeff Weaver won game 5 for us for God's sake. Yadier Molina who hit .216 in 2006 hit the biggest home run in the past 40 years for the Cardinals. Make us young, that's fine, but please, please make us competitive in the weak NL Central. 

The Patriots won again on Sunday. That makes them 14-0 and they have the Miami Dolphins at home and the G-Men in the Meadowlands the following week. Prediction. Pats 34-7 over the Dolphins and I see the Pats beating the Giants who looked terrible Sunday night against the Redskins 28-14. If they do 16-0 i don't see anyone beating them this year. I really don't see anyone beating them anyway. They have a first round bye and home field advantage in the playoffs and if they make it to Super Bowl 42 which I totally expect them to do, weather won't be a problem there. They might have to play the Jaguars in the playoffs which proved they can play in cold weather this week but still doesn't hold a card to the Patriots especially in Foxboro. They might have to play the Colts but again they don't have a clue what to do with the Patriots especially when the Pats have the ball in the fourth quarter with all those weapons. Not to mention their defense which is really good too. 

I see the Patriots becoming the first 19-0 team in NFL history, ousting the 1972 Miami Dolphins off their throne. Even if they don't go undefeated, they will still win Super Bowl 42.